Wild monkey dance

Hi friends, how's it going? I had my last chemo on Friday (insert me doing the wild monkey dance)... And this morning i was able to eat a fried egg, slice of ham on a fresh baked roll. This last chemo was rough and well, i am happy it is the last. My total weight gain is 11 pounds, how odd that you gain weight despite not being able to eat for days,

My Oncologist encourages me to get back on weight watchers and to exercise. God willing in 6 weeks my energy levels should return.

I feel so happy i want to cry. I cannot wait to begin my new normal. Life is so fragile and beautiful that i just can't contain myself. I am not going to lie and say i am not scared C will come back but i am deciding to switch the thought off when it appears. I have learned that FEAR paralyzes you and its no way to live. I am so grateful to God for his love, mercy and peace. I thank him before i sleep and upon waking.

Well guys, i just wanted to check in and thank you all for helping me through... It has been rough and even though i will have check ups every 3 months, i am beyond happy.... Beyond.

I think if you ask a cancer patient what they want most they would respond with "wanting to be normal again". You miss the every day normal. We tend to take it for granted. Little things, you know.

Well, i should cut this short. I need to find a weight watcher meeting near my home. I weigh 185 lbs. i started chemo at 172.

Thank you pwc readers for your comments and support. It meant everything to me.

Besos,
Paula
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gettin on the EGG wagon

Hi friends, how's it going?  Mondays are always  hard for me and I have got to admit... my days of prepping on Sundays  have gone by the wayside.  I'm trying to change that and well, last night, I pulled out the spinach, mushrooms, bell peppers and onions. Sauted them in Pam and layed them in a small pie pan.  Then I grabbed 6 eggs, salt, pepper and a splash of half and half and baked it in the oven.

Tada!!!

Breakfast for the week.

I also packed spinach, feta, nuts, raisins and strawberries for a massive salad beast for this afternoon.

I've gotten into some bad eating habits these past few months. I cannot believe for two nights, I 've sat on the couch, watching TV eating potato chips.  Who am I?  Well, that's all going to change in the  next few months.

Daniel did the grocery shopping last week all by himself and I was so excited that he picked up plenty of fresh fruit and produce. Who knows, he just might be a convert to healthy eating.

Question:  Don't you just love eggs when the edges are all crispy brown?

3rd base

There are moments when C is with me the most.  The reality of it hits me. 

Just before I get into the shower and look in the mirror. I see the person staring back at me and it’s then that it hits me what C has done to my physical appearance. I shrug it off because in the grand scheme of things, this means nothing because I’m here.

In the mornings as I dress for work. I decide what top to wear. One that does not have cleavage.  Once the top is chosen, I begin the process of unpacking my prosthesis and inserting them into my bra. It has become a ritual i.e., mornings and evenings.  The minute I return home, I remove and pack  them up and throw on a sweatshirt. How I love sweatshirts and I'm thankful it's not summer. It are these moments that I think most about reconstruction surgery. I am reminded that I’m almost there… Reconstruction is like sliding into  home home base. 

Then, there are those moments that it is so surreal…this has really happened.  I do try not to complain. I remain upbeat and positive. I write this post merely on the chance that someone else is reading and if they experience somethig similar to what I am going through, maybe then, they don’t feel quite alone. I mean "Alone" in the thought process. Clearly, I have family, friends (both real and blog) where I am not alone.  However, there are not many people who can relate.   I think woman who have experience breast cancer are in this elite club all our own.  Life is never quite the same again. C changes you.  In a positive way for sure. I am much more grateful for all that is in this mortal world….my children, grandchildren, Daniel and the beauty that is the world.

I cannot wait until I can feel more myself and laugh with total abandonment. Yes, a laughter where C is completely forgotten and it just a bad memory. We all have struggles in life and when they’re over, we look back and sigh and are grateful they are just that… memories..

All this being said… I feel like I am at third base, waiting for the batter to hit and I am almost home.  Almost home.

Peace out

Paula

El Mercadito

Hi my friends, how's it going? Sorry I've been absent. Daniel and I took a "spur of the moment" trip to Los Angeles. It's rare that he and I have time off at the same time.  Besides, I gotta tell you after Chemo #3, I could use some R&R. 

We visited Disneyland but I'll save that for another post. first, I want to share our visit to  El Mercadito in East Los Angeles. This little market is pretty darn cool. As we entered the parking lot, t here is a shrine to La Virgen de Guadalupe. I grew up with my mother lighting candles to this virgencita so I was pleased to see her as we parked our car.

This Mercado is three stories high and as we walked through the aisles. Many of the vendors encouraged us to ask questions regarding their merchandise. Daniel loved this place. He said it was identical to the mercados in Mexico.  He was completely in his element. He bartered with the woman.

 As we arrived at the various Moles, Daniel went on and on with the woman. They encouraged him to taste the various types of Mole.  Now, if I didn't know better, I would think Daniel was flirting with these woman.  Apparently, one HAGGLES in markets and it's not uusual to carry on the way he was... I MEAN, WHAT DO I KNOW... I'm from Texas.

 After we tasted the various types, I selected the Mole Poblano since it was a  spicier than the others.  I paid my $8 per pound and went on to the next stand. 

I absolutely fell in love with the colors at the tried fruit below. Man, did I enjoy looking at the various vendors and the foods they were cooking. It was incredibly authentic.  [Psss... I ate so much good food in the last 3 days that I'm seriously avoiding the scale. I've decided to join Weight Watchers just as soon as I'm done with C stuff.  I seriously thought I could eat healthy while undergoing chemo but I tend to gravitate towards carbs and well, carbs equal calories equals weight gain]. Anyways, sorry for getting off track.

Once we returned home, I was anxious cook the Mole. I was instructed by the ladies to boil chicken, add onions, garlic, salt and pepper. Once the chicken was done, I simply add the Mole to the pot. The tricky part was knowing how much stock to add to my $8 worth of Mole? I had to use my best judgment.

Just as I had feared, I added too much stock and my Mole was thinner than I wanted.  However, the thinner Mole was delicious. I only tasted it and my son absolutely loved the flavor. Daniel did not care for the Mole. Apparently, he only likes his mama's Mole and he does not like chocolate in his Mole. I simply thought all Moles contained chocolate. I was corrected. 

So what do you think? Would you eat this in a restaurant? 

I saved the left over Mole and froze it. I think it would be devine over tamales or eggs.

Anyways, I couldn't wait to share my visit to El Mercadito. I hope your day is excellente!!!

I'll be back later with pics from Disneyland.

Later, gators.

my jump is more like a skip....

Hey friends, how's your day?

I woke up early this morning and made breakfast for my son and Daniel. Scrambled eggs and sausage for them and a bowl of fruit and quesadilla for me.

After chores, Daniel and I headed out since the sun was out. It was still cold but not so bad. We decided to drive to Olivehurst. It's about a 2 hour drive and I know there are fruit stands along the rural roads. I was interested in to see what they had this time of year.  Usually, I take this drive for the fresh peaches.  I did see lots of farm hands pruning the trees so I am excited for the summer crops.  Can you tell someone wants it to be summer?

We stopped at Tony's Fruit Stand in Oroville. Most stands were closed with an occasional "self-serve stands" where they leave bags of fruit out and you pay by using a drop box.

I wanted to buy walnuts but then what would I do with so many?  

Daniel is such a trooper. See him there near the car? Thank you for driving me around to these  far off and obscure places.

He was pretty excited the selection of dried fruit, local honey and nuts. Lucky for us they accepted ATM. I picked up apples, mandarines, carrots, local honey, almonds and dried fruit.

I was quite happy and asked Daniel to pull over. I told him I wanted to jump in the air and if he would take my picture. I love that he doesn't question these impulses and just pulls over.  I'm lucky person...

As for my jump in the air... Unfortunately, my jumping was more like skip... but hey, the intent is there so I think it counts... It felt wonderful  to be out in the country.

 Once we arrived back to Sacramento, it was time for an early dinner. It was Pollo Loco for these two locos.  Daniel had chicken, rice and beans. Big surprise there...

I chose the chicken bowl but after 3 bites decided it was a poor choice. The aroma of the chicken was too much and I decided to take it home. Maybe later.

I'm finishing the evening with making  Albondigas (meat ball soup) with the fresh carrots . Maybe the broth will be delicious. I have all the ingredients and my son mentioned he was craving Albondigas. 

By-the-way... I am looking forward to this evening, My daughter has a surprise for me. I feel like a kid. Life is sweet... I hope your day is awesome and you find pleasure in the simplest circumstances.

Abrasos,
Paula

burrr.... it's cold outside

Hi friends... How are you?

I had my third chemo and it was rough... But so grateful i am able to eat solids again. I am surprised by how tired i am... But this too shall pass. 3 down, 1 to,go. Praise God.


Daniel made caldo de res. it was a big pot of oxtail and vegetable soup. I ate the broth and it was glorious. Sorry no pictures. My friend Virginia and her husband stopped by for an unexpected visit,

I was nervous about how i looked, but remembered this is me...right now.  The visit was unexpected and unannounced but I did my best to be me.  I smiled. Laughed and invited them to dinner. We all sat around and shared the soup. It was the time I've had visitors in my home in over 2 months. Felt nice.

The menu around here  consist of dry toast, bananas and ginger ale. It was nice to mix it up this afternoon as I was able to eat a salad and  roasted veggies and chicken wrap.

Not to mention the movie and bucket of popcorn i shared with Daniel this afternoon. Life continues to be sweet despite the inconvenience of C. I am content, sitting here on my sofa wearing warm work out cloths and feeling the warmth of my home.

Can you believe it was 33 degrees in Sacrament early this morning?  Well, I'm off to cuddle on the couch with a certain someone. Hope you all have a great evening.

I decided....

Hola, how's your day so far?

Mine started out with a cup of coffee,  half a banana, and a bite of pan dulce. I stop self from eating the rest but then... I spied a slice of pizza my son left on the table and zapped it in the microwave. I had a few bites and then left it alone. I told my son that it's really hard for me to have that kind of food in the house. He smiles.  I tell self: at least you minized the damage with bites. I lie to self often:  I know that eating carbs in the morning means I'll be HUNGRY all day long. Don't you just want to kick  yourself in the pants when you make bad choices?

At least I made good choices last night and boiled eggs. Around 10 a.m., I eat one and consume two glasses of water hoping the hunger subsides...

It does not... it sits there quietly beckoning me to eat crap... I stay focused. 

I find myself still hungry at 11:30 a.m., despite drinking water. I decide to eat an early lunch of veggies and 1/2 a bag of Fettucini Alfredo... I brought one of those "meal in a bag" to work.

Notice I left out sauce and added extra veggies?  My stomache still feels hungry but I tell self it's not really hunger...

The weather is nice and so I decide to walk around campus. I think "this is great running weather" then I am reminded that THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERYTING... I smile and enjoy the warmth on my face.

I then walk into the Student Center. Bon Appetite serves the most delilcious meals using fresh, local and organic ingredients. I look at their soups and I jump for joy when I find this:

White bean and kale soup.  I ate half of this upon my return to my office, and at the other half around 4 pm.  Beans are so harty.

Dinner will be cabbage salad and oranges for dessert.  A co-worker brought me a huge bag of oranges from the tree that is outside my former office. His kindness me smile.  I must remember to pay it forward.

You know, I woke this morning thanking the Lord for today. I DECIDED to be grateful and happy. I DECIDED to ignore of discouragement. I have always known that ATTITUDE is about the only thing we can control.  It's okay to feel but it's more important to DECIDE.

Later gators.

paula