What cancer is teaching me

That each day is not promised to us even though we take it for granted. That negativity is a waste of energy. That it’s important to share your feelings with those you love.  We love our family and friends but how do we express it? 

That as we get older, it’s harder and harder for us to stay in awe of the world.  There is so much in the world.  For instance, today on my walk/jog. I admired the poppies that are in bloom.  The arch of a tree as it stood next to a unique building on campus.  I thought “did the architect invision this in his rendering?”  As I walked, I saw the little birds on the ground and my thoughts turn to “this is the day the Lord has made.”  Not just for me but for this little bird and the guy that’s bumpin his music in his car as he drives by.  I am conscious of the breeze from cars driving on the freeway beneath as I walk over the bridge. I stretch my arms so I can feel the coolness. It feels good on this warm day.

I’m present.  I’ve been present the last 4 years. My eyes opened when my cousin passed of breast cancer. I started to see the world differently… I think the Lord has prepared me for this…

I have moments where I let the fear of cancer returning paralize me.  It’s there as I wake up in the middle of the night and I hate it.  I am good at reminding myself that FEAR gets me no where. I remind self that God wants his children to prosper, and have hope for a future.   It helps.

Earlier today, I listened to a lecture and he talked about how our environment determines our invironment.  That statement hit me.  My fear is most definitely impacting my inner life. If I continue to let these thoughts fester, my invironment will become bitter and will surely darken my life. I’m going to pray for God to take away anything that is on the INSIDE that will impact my OUTSIDE.

On a note pad, I have written “there is beauty in the power of a storm” It’s a reminder that everyone has challenges but that afterwards, we are left with a calmness and a relief…  A gratefulness if you will.  Imagine living life fully present? 

I don’t mean for the blog to turn into a cancer blog.  That’s not my intention.  It’s just a place where I share my life lessons and my journey.. a  journey to a healthier self-- Inside and out. 

Take a day if you will. Practice being present.  Look at your environment and fully take it in. You'll be surprised at how wonderful it feels.

Paula 

Hi friends.... Its been a brutal day at work but i cheered myself up with a 3 mile walk. There was some jogging but it doesn't really count since i was left behind in a cloud of dust by a much older woman. She kept a continued pace all through the track. :-(



I have vowed to push myself for the month of April. Doctor says no restrictions so i am pushing ahead.

Having goals again gives one purpose. Will probably do a work out plan for each day...

Can you tell i is happy?

reroute your thinking

Hola, how’s your day going?

Mine is muy bueno.  Last night, I got a text to join my friend Delia at zumba. This is a high energy, no stopping, sweatin your butt off kinda a class. I arrived late but was able to do a non-stop 30 mintues of high intensity zumba.  Delia saved me a spot right in front. Funny how we all started in the back and are now up front.  Confidence shows itself in many ways.  Most of the ladies I know were noticeably thinner than  the last time I saw them. It’s been 5 months since I attended this class. For a moment, I think “that could’ve been me had I not gotten sick.”  I immediately try and stop that kind of thinking. I now live in the GRATEFUL TO JUST BE HERE WORLD and those thoughts are not productive..  Odd how C has a way of changing your whole perspective and you’re able to reroute your thinking.

Anywhoo… it felt great to be sweating my booty off, doing what I love. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, exercise definitely improves the quality of one’s life.

There are small moments of awkardness as I try to resume life.  But there are also moments of laughter…   Like when my friend stopped in the middle of zumba to fix my bandana and joking said “you’re looking like a pirate.” And I respond with “ayre…” and we carry on.

I can’t wait to have my hair back. Not because I miss it but because the “tell-tale signs of cancer” will no longer be present … I’ll be glad when the reminder is no longer visible to the outside world. 

I’m excited for the promise of hair as I run my hands through my scalp. I’m surprised at how soft it feels… not at all like stuble…

Sensational sunday

Breakfast was coffee and fresh papaya and pineapple with lemon and tajin.


Then i prepped the fresh veggies i bought from the fruit stand in Dixon. A small rural town we passed on our way home.


Just look at that beautiful corn and carrots.


I cooked oxtails and beef in a pot with onions and garlic. Let simmer until tender, added the corn, carrots and potatoes, and cooked a while longer, then added cabbage, squash and cilantro.

Soup was delish... My sister and kids stopped by for lunch and afterwards, we sat in the backyard, talked and listened to music.



The house is a mess but i don't mind. It was a nice Sunday. Loud and busy, just the way i like it.

This is a terrible picture of me but i think it sums up just how happy i am.

paula

Just a day to enjoy

Spending a wonderful Friday in San Francisco after a CRAYZEE week. Thank you handsome clerk for the free up grade. Staying at the Sir Frances Drake hotel. Very old and very fancy.



After a ride on the cable car, we arrived at Pier 33 and boarded a boat to visit Alcatraz. I always wanted to tour the prison. So much history there. The seagulls caught a ride ti the island as well.







We did the audio tour of course.





After 2.5 hours of walking it was time to head back to the pier for lunch.



Either i was very hungry or these were the best fish tacos Ever! I washed theses down with a cold beer. Its been months since i had a beer. Small things that make me smile.


Feels wonderful to take a,day off...

How about you? Got any plans for the weekend?

Moments that made me smile this weekend.




Fire roasted chilies grounded in a molcajete.


Just like my mama used to make





My kids and grandkids playing red light, green light and roasting marshmallows in the backyard.

And a 1.75 mile jog on a beautiful Sunday morning.

God is good.

Hot sweaty mess

Hey friends, how it going?

I am doing well. Work is crazy busy, and its tough keeping up with two jobs but every day gets better and i am grateful for the normal ness.



Here i am looking a hot mess. Just returned from zumba. Its my third class and i completed 50 minutes. Feels great to be a hot, sweaty mess.

My meals include lots,of greens and protein.... But oh how i wish the bowls of candy would go away.

One goal at a time....

So what's new?