Black Bean Soup

I was inspired by the Food Network's Daisy Martinez' recipe for unfried beans.  I took the recipe and tweeked it a bit and made "black bean soup" for dinner  last night.

First, I chopped up one small onion, and three cloves of garlic.

Then I rinse one pound of black beans. In a pot, I added water and a can of low sodium chicken broth, one bay leaf. If you wanted, for an exra layer of flavor, you could add a hamhock to the broth.  I would totally recommend this for the unfried beans that I mention at the end of this post.

Add all the ingredients to the pot. Cover and let simmer for about 20 minutes. Then add salt, then cover again and cook for another 20-30 minutes until beans are soft. 

Then take about 1 1/2 cups of beans, 1 cup of the broth and place in a blender or food processor. Blend until you have a soup like mixture. You may want to add a little more broth. But I like it with a tad bit of texture.  I then served it up in a bowl, garnished with queso fresco and cilantro. It was absolutely delicious and very filling.

This entire dish was 8 points, including the 1 oz. of queso fresco that I used for ganished.  I ate this around 4 pm. and it kept me full all night. Normally, I would have been hungry around 7 pm.

For the unfried beans, you want to add the hamhock for an added layer of flavors since you will not be frying these delicious beans.  You add them to the blender or food processor, but add less broth.  You will then end up with beans that are thicker in texture.  Place in a large bowl, garnish with cotija or queso fresco, and serve with some baked corn tortilla chips.  Ummm.  I'll be making a batch of this the next time my friends and I get together for Triominoes.  Buen provecho.

Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we diet

The above seems to sum up my weekends of late. Try as I might.  I've been tracking my points using WW e-tools and I have already used 15 of my 35 flex points and it is only Saturday.  I am with family and they are serving flautas, and tortas. I had a few bites from Daniel's plate. Earlier, I hit the park for a 45 minute walk.  Then I had dessert.  I feel like I've failed myself, yet again.  At the same time, I feel triumphant. As I write this post---I have family passing me a plate of flautas... [[here, have one, come on., as they shove a platte towards me]]. I kid you not. I tell them-- flat out--No thanks, I ate earlier.  Urgh.. The majority of the people around me tonight are thin. How they can eat flautas at 10  at night,  is beyond me. I deserve a freakin medal for saying "no thanks."  I log onto the computer so I can post, hoping it will keep me focused on this weight loss journey of mine. Like an alcoholic calling his sponsor.  Instead, I write this post. If I want to see success with weight loss, I will need to to learn how to navigate these social settings.  Sure WW meetings tell you to bring your own food, be prepared, plan. It all sounds good in theory. But when you're faced with some of your favorite foods. It is down right heroic if you abstain.  Yes, I practiced moderation tonight, but I still feel as though I have failed because I ate stuff that is bad for me. I read somewhere that there is failure on the road to success. I hope that is true.

I tell myself "will power" is a muscle that I need to learn to flex.  Yes, I'm  am still learning. For a moment, I thought "shit, why bother, it's just too damn hard."  Yea, it's hard. But to give up now means defeate. And you know what?  I am not a person to be defeated. If I'm gonna go down, I'm goin down swinging.  

Friday night, "party over here"!!!

Today is a good day in terms of food. However, the night is young.  Audra and Diane will stop by to watch the movie "Like Water for Chocolate" "Aqua para Chocolate".   It should be a nice, relaxing evening. I'm making hot toddys for cocktails. I'm sure we'll play triominoes or some other game. Audra is bringing appetizers. I bet you anything my dear friend will bring something delicious, fried and totally out of my point range. MUST EXERCISE WILL POWER. Earlier I had a salad so there is a little room for drinks.  My weekends are always FILLED WITH FOOD. NO WONDER I CAN'T LOSE MORE WEIGHT. Get a grip Paula. You can do this girl!

Today, I worked out for 30 minutes. But what a good 30 minutes. I jogged 1.14 miles in 16 minutes at 3.6 mph on the treadmill. Does not seem like much, but I am just so pleased that I can jog a mile.  Earlier in the evening, I picked up my bib for the 5k.  I just couldn't believe I was actually participating in something like this. I'm very psyched.

Tomorrow, I will do the 30 day shred. It's raining here in Sacramento so it's a perfect workout. Can I share something personal?  I caught Daniel staring at my butt this evening and his expression bothered me. I questioned him and he said "I don't like the way you're losing weight". He said I was losing all my "assets" and that I was straight. He said he he preferred it when I had a fuller figure. Was it really necessary for him to be so bleepin honest?  He then sort of haff assed apologized saying something to the effect that maybe its just how a woman's body changes with  age...As if that was going to make me feel better.  He must have seen the expression on my face and started to get frisky.  Please, after that conversation. It ain't happening.  Sorry if that's just too personal.  I was just hoping for a better reaction from him. In the end, it's about how I feel about my body. 

Have a great evening all.

Thursday's Weigh-in

God is definitely good.  I had a flat tire just as I left my office and was about to get on the freeway. Thank the good Lord above that I was not on the freeway as I would have totally freaked out and over corrected. Urgh... I was so crabby when I got home and then I realized I was being an ungrateful witch.  I stopped what I was doing and I counted my blessing of which there are many.

On a lighter note, today's WW meeting was helpful. Our leader discussed Thanksgiving dinner and she demonstrated what portions should look like on our plate. Our leader used her WW stainless steel serving spoons/laddles that came in 1 cup, 1/2 cup and 1/4 cup. The set costs $20. Right after the meeting, I purchased a set. It's such a pain to go searching the kitchen drawers for measuring cups. These serving spoons are the perfect alternative. I did not think twice about weighing in. I jumped on the scale and I am up .4 ounces. Not bad given all the fatty foods I ate last weekend.  What's more, I wore jeans and I'm feeling bloated. So I'm thinkin it's not a real gain. I'm doing much better food wise this week.

Breakfast: Coffee w/cream, 1 egg & 1 egg white, onion, red & green peppers, handful of soy crumbles, smart & delicious wheat tortilla. By using veggies and soy crumbles, I was able to bulk up my breakfast .  Just look at all the food I got to eat for 5 points.  I've made this mixture before minus the eggs to top my baked potatoe. Equally as good. My breakfast burrito kept me full until noon.

Lunch:  lettuce, grape tomatoes, broccoli, 1 oz. feta cheese,

6 croutons, bacon bits, sesame dressing, yoplait light yogurt, diet coke

Snack: Clementine, Kudos granola bar and a handful of pretzel, cheese snacks

Dinner:  Baked potatoe, 1 oz. Sargento reduced fat mexican blend cheese, 1/4 c. of Turkey chili beans, glass of water, 3 crackers with hummus

Today is the first day I used WW e-tools. I don't know why I hadn't used it before, especially since I have 17 weeks free. I haven't quite gotten the hang of it, but I love how I don't have to look up points. No chance to exercise today, very busy at work.  I'll try and work out twice tomorrow to make up for Thursday's non workout day.  Well, better sign off to do dishes and put away laundry. TTFN

Japanese Grapefruit & Food Journal

Japanese Grapefruit

I picked this fruit off a tree on campus.  In the 20 years I have been at my job, it never occured to me that this "thing" was edible. Weeks ago, I took a picture of the fruit tree and posted it asking if you all knew what it was? No such luck.  I asked around and was informed that this is a Yuku aka Japanese Grapefruit, and that it was ripe once it was yellow.  So I waited.

Just look at how thick the peel is and how the fruit is covered in a thin membrane like casing.  I thought it was similar to that of a pomegranate.  It was a little time consuming to eat as I had to remove all the white membrane casing to get to the fruit. I inadvertantly ate that stuff and was sick to my stomache on my first attempt. Well today, I gave it another taste and it is pretty good.  It is not bitter like a regular grapefruit. I think it is similar to a pomegranate in that you  have to remove the fruit to eat.  I shared it with Daniel last night and he liked it.  I'll definitely have to pick another.  Can't believe it took me 20 years to try it.

Today concluded the Active for Life program (encourages employees to be more active by setting goals and forming teams for motivation and support) and our team the "McSteppers" tied for first place. We won a tote bag and a water bottle. We all agreed on how much fun it was and vowed to keep it up after the New Year. I took a picture of our team but I looked horrible so I'm not gonna post it.

I decided to work out in our gym today as I wanted to time my jogging on the treadmill.  None was available so I did the elliptical machine for about 25 minutes.  Still, no treadmill and I did not want to wait any longer. I grapped my stuff and ran around the block twice without stopping. I can't be sure how long I jogged before stopping. My ipod played about 3.5 songs so I estimate my jog was 15 minutes.  I can't be sure. It may not sound like much but for me its quite a victory. There was a time I couldn't run more than 30 seconds.  Slow and steady I tell you.

Breakfast:  coffee w/cream, toast with apple butter, chai latte w/skim milk

(need to stay away from those lattes).

Snack:  wheat thins (2 handfuls), 2 fun sized 3 muskateer

Lunch:  3 oz. shrimp, lettuce, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, snap peas, cheddar chese, bacos and sesame dressing. I cooked up shrimp last night so that I would have protein for my salad.

Snack:  Clementine, japanese grapefruit

Dinner:  3 oz. shrimp, 1 oz. queso fresco, 2 cups shredded cabbage, salsa verde

I did better at eating today with the excetion of the wheat thins and fun sized muskateer.  I measured my cheese, shrimp and table spoons which is something I don't normally do.  It feels good to know precisely how much I am eating.  I estimate my total points consumed are 22.  I can't be certain because I did not count out the wheat thins.  Students stocked the house with snacks again... lots of wheat thins and gold fishies.  Our students are adults and unfortunately, I can't control what they eat.    I'm going to sign off tonight as I'm pretty tired.  Daniel is sick with a sore throat, cough and I am so praying that I don't get sick. I'm just too busy at work. I asked him to sleep on the couch for feat of getting sick. I know its mean, but I just can't get sick right now. I have the 5k on Thanksgiving morning and work is slammed.  I thought I'd leave you with this great quote:

Know thyself means this, that you get acquainted with what you know, and what you can do. Menander

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. ~Peter De Vries

When I was a  kid, my mother would often tell me "no seas busga" which means "don't be a glutton".  I  never really understood what she meant back then.  I suppose I was guilty of "gluttony" when I ate too many homemade flour tortillas.  Was my mom trying to teach me to eat in moderation? If so, then why would she make stacks of flour tortillas each morning. Obviously, they were for us to enjoy, right?   She always said gluttony was a sin.  Surely God would forgive me for being so hungry, right?

I was a chubby kid growing up.  I don't have any pictures to prove it but I remember being self-conscious in grade school.  I recall wearing polyester pants and wearing them out in the thigh area. So I suppose I was fat as a kid.  The word "glutton" means one who eats in excess."  Based on the quote above, gluttony is an emotiona escape. Wonder what I was escaping from back then?  My five sisters? Wouldn't it be  nice to turn on the TV and choose a channel according to your age and then tune in to get a glimpse of the past?  Sure would be helpful in determining the whys of overeating.

I read Lynn 's blog Escape from Obesity and she has really done the psychological work necessary in identifying the reasons(s) for her binge eating and weight struggles.  Weight Watchers is great for teaching you how to eat, but there is a whole other side to losing weight, isn't there?

Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.

~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003

I'm lucky.  I'm in a good place in my life. This is not to say I don't have any problems.  Surely when Daniel pisses me off, I reach for poptarts and the like. I am a reactor. In every aspect of my life whether it is personal or professional... I react. I am an emotional eater.   But to figure out why I have struggled with weight my entire life is an interesting question for me. One that requires work. I wouldn't even know where to begin.  Do I want to delve into my psyche to figure it out?  Personally, I kinda sum it up to I LOVE FOOD.  Anyways, I'm just rambling on here in this post.  Read Lynn's blog and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Food Journal
Breakfast: 5 points (Coffee w/cream, sandwhich thins, apple butter, 1/2 a banana)
Snack:  3.5 points (chai latte made with skim milk, clementine)
Lunch: 6 points (6 wheat thins, brocoli, snap peas, avacado, cheddar cheese, sesame dressing, 60 calorie pudding)
Snack:  2 points (granola bar and sections of a japanese grapefruit--future post-very interesting fruit)
Dinner:  4 points left
shrimp, cabbage, cilantro and salsa salad

Exercise
Jogged .75 miles--almost made it all around the park... it's the longest run I have done to date.
Walked 1.75 miles

I hope to do some weights this evening. Maybe 30 day shred. I haven't been very motivated to do the video, but I'll get back into the groove soon enough.

Chonies

I  have a dear friend who at her heaviest was a size 7/8. She has lost weight and is now wearing a size 3 comfortably.  Urgh... No, don't get me wrong. I am happy that she's managed to lose and keep the weight off. She struggles as I do.  We go nuts over a plate of nachos.  Honestly, I envy her "jennifer aniston" arms.  We share emails throughout our day and I'd love to share this email she sent me and another friend:

I feel so uncomfortable today.  "P" got me these chonies that are really cute. They have like this little skirt ruffle thing attached but in the back, it has a thread.  I think they are way too small for me. They are ripping me apart.  Can any of you relate?

She sent me this picture and for those of you who do not know what "CHONIES" are, well, it's what we Latinas learned to call our underwear when we were little girls.

Geez.... Doesn't my friend know that we chubby girls do not wear pretty, skinny, thongie chonies?  At least this one doesn't. I've never owned undies like the picture above.  I told my friend "truth be told, No. I cannot relate.  I've never worn those cutesy little chonies cuz let's face it. Anything in my size would not look small and cutesy.  Don't even get me started on how incredibly uncomfortable they would be-- if indeed, I were to find a pair and wear them. I've seen the lingerie at Lane Bryant, and frankly, they look like mini parachutes.  I've seen the thongs my girls wear and I couldn't wear them. They look unsanitary if you know what I mean. Sorry I'm getting personal  here... but I really just couldn't relate.

I told my friend only a skinny witch could relate to her dilema. I suppose if Daniel would buy me some pretty chonies like "P" bought my friend, I might consider wearing them, but not to work. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't leave my house with uncomfortable chonies. Heck no.