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Friday, March 29, 2013

What cancer is teaching me

That each day is not promised to us even though we take it for granted. That negativity is a waste of energy. That it’s important to share your feelings with those you love.  We love our family and friends but how do we express it? 
That as we get older, it’s harder and harder for us to stay in awe of the world.  There is so much in the world.  For instance, today on my walk/jog. I admired the poppies that are in bloom.  The arch of a tree as it stood next to a unique building on campus.  I thought “did the architect invision this in his rendering?”  As I walked, I saw the little birds on the ground and my thoughts turn to “this is the day the Lord has made.”  Not just for me but for this little bird and the guy that’s bumpin his music in his car as he drives by.  I am conscious of the breeze from cars driving on the freeway beneath as I walk over the bridge. I stretch my arms so I can feel the coolness. It feels good on this warm day.
I’m present.  I’ve been present the last 4 years. My eyes opened when my cousin passed of breast cancer. I started to see the world differently… I think the Lord has prepared me for this…
I have moments where I let the fear of cancer returning paralize me.  It’s there as I wake up in the middle of the night and I hate it.  I am good at reminding myself that FEAR gets me no where. I remind self that God wants his children to prosper, and have hope for a future.   It helps.
Earlier today, I listened to a lecture and he talked about how our environment determines our invironment.  That statement hit me.  My fear is most definitely impacting my inner life. If I continue to let these thoughts fester, my invironment will become bitter and will surely darken my life. I’m going to pray for God to take away anything that is on the INSIDE that will impact my OUTSIDE.
On a note pad, I have written “there is beauty in the power of a storm” It’s a reminder that everyone has challenges but that afterwards, we are left with a calmness and a relief…  A gratefulness if you will.  Imagine living life fully present? 
I don’t mean for the blog to turn into a cancer blog.  That’s not my intention.  It’s just a place where I share my life lessons and my journey.. a  journey to a healthier self-- Inside and out. 

Take a day if you will. Practice being present.  Look at your environment and fully take it in. You'll be surprised at how wonderful it feels.

Paula 


8 comments:

  1. Thank you for this post. I needed it today.

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    1. Hi Amanda, i'm glad my words helped you today. That's what I love about blogging. We can all relate to one another and life each other up.

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  2. This was a very meaningful post today. I, too, loved that line about environment and invironment. Deeply profound. It does not matter hat this blog turns into. It is your blog. Use it to process whatever is on your mind. Stay strong in your battles.

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    1. Michelle, the Rabi (sp?) who used spoke was such an interesting speaker. I watched him on Joyce Meyers. Those simple words resonated with me.

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  3. It's a thought of mine, too. Though my worry isn't cancer, but my spinal cord tumor returning. I make efforts to live in this moment and enjoy the good days. Wishing you a bright and blessed Easter.

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    1. Hi Carol, thank you for your well wishes and yes, it's up to us to keep our mind from going to that place... fear has a way of festering if we don't keep it in check... Hope your Easter was great.

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  4. Lovely post Paula - and it doesn't matter if you talk about cancer or weight or whatever. The point is good health - both physical and emotional.

    My lovely Mum always reminded us to 'count our blessings'. I just didn't 'get it' for a long, long time but, as I get older, I see more and more what she meant. There's beauty in all sorts of small things, we can find it everywhere around us if we only look. We do well to take time to see it, and it makes us stronger and happier people to do so.

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  5. Hi Deniz. Your mom is a smart woman. It's funny how we get smarter as we age... heheh. Thanks for always being here for me.

    paula

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