Paula wanna cracker

Where do I start?   How about I share the last year. I trained for a Triathalon where I learned to swim. Can you believe that? I wasn't good enough for open water so I did a duathalon. I trained for my first half marathon and on my longest run 11.5 miles hurt my knee.  I was so close to achieving my goals. Despite these set backs, I am still very proud of myself. I worked hard. Often getting up at 5:30 to run and then go to my cross-training class.

Then last November, I got pnemonia. I couldn't bounce back and so after several visits to the doctor and many tests, I am sad to write my cancer is back. Stage 4 and I will be on chemotherapy indefinitely. Oh and did I mention I got the diagnosis one week after purchasing a home?  It's been a shitty few months. I am 53 years old and have so much more to accomplish. Life can change in a bloody instant.  Cancer gets you when you're at the top of you game. My oncologist ignored my repeated questions regarding chest wall pain. She would say "oh it's just nerve pain". It never occurred to ask what causes chest wall pain. When I googled it, I read "advance stages of breast cancer. Again, I did everything I was suppose too. Maybe I trusted my doctor more than I should of. Luckily, I got a great new doctor at a different hospital.

I am holding up and relying on my faith. The hardest for me is not being able to work out as usual. Hiking is is a joke. I did moderate hike of 3.5 miles and it sucked. I am doing all that I can to enjoy every moment. I just want to be as active as I can as I truly love the outdoors.

I hope to blog since this is where. I come when I need to "write it out"

Instead of asking why me.... I am  just going to play the hand that I am dealt. Wear it like a crown and pray that I can travel this road with grace and dignity.

Your well wishes and prayers are welcomed.

Well, I need to rest. I hope to take a walk tomorrow by the river.


Love
Paula