stronger than i realized

Happy Halloween my friends...

Man, what a difference a year makes. Just last year, I was struggling with a diagnosis of stage 2 breast cancer and gearing up for surgery.  You  never know what you're made of until you're tested....

That's exactly how I felt last night after completing boot camp. Every part of my body ached prior to that class. I wanted to skip out but my daughter motivated me to just work through it.  I am so glad I did.  On my drive home, I could not contain my happiness. It's an incredible feeling to know where I was last year and today I am getting through drills that involve planks, plié squats, sit ups and burpees which I struggle with but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day.

I jumped on the scale and it reads 179 STILL.  It's disheartening.  I start to think "what if I never lose the 20 lbs and cannot get breast reconstruction?" Well, I'll come to terms with that when and if it  happens. For now, I'm going to bask in my feeling of health and fitness.

10/30/13

 I'm stronger than I realized.  I know it's because the Lord is in my corner.

Life is sweet y'all.  Just needed to come here with my praise report.  If you're reading this and are struggling... please do not give up.  After every storm, there's a calmness.   Just hold on... keep going. Whatever the challenge is... look for the blessing. Keep pressing forward.  Life is incredibly sweet even in the midst of challenges. It's those moments that we need to call on our higher power. For me it's God.  I can do all things with him. 

Have a safe Halloween friends and thank you for stopping by this here blog.

Later, gators.

 

Accepting limitations or pushing past them? Slippery slope!

Whew, it's Wednesday and the weekend is almost here.  Speaking of weekends, I wanted to share a spicy treat I found at the Folsom swap meet on Saturday. It's called a "mangoneada." It's basically a spicy tamarind drink poured over crushed ice with slices of fresh mango. They top it off with a nice tamarind candy.  Yum. This was pretty delicious.

Mangoneada

Physical limitations post breast cancer

I am in my second week of boot camp and am loving it.  On Monday, it got pretty intense.  I found myself cheating a little with the ladder jumps. I am so uncoordinated.  You are suppose to run to get as many rounds as possible during your timed workout.  I walked... I know I was cheating myself or was I?

It's tough to accept your limitations. I have limitations?  Ain't nobody got time for that!  Especially NOT after breast cancer. Not only do I want to do all the exercises, but I want to rock them!  We all have a competitive side and maybe that's what I'm up against. My rational side says "easy my friend" and the bitch in me says "pick it up!"

I've been thinking about where I am physically, 8 months after my last chemo treatment.  It's not a bad place all things considered. After all, didn't doctors just pump my body with poison to kill good and bad cells? Didn't I just have a double mastectomy less 11 months ago?  I remind self that "showing up to boot camp and trying YOUR best already makes YOU a winner. Easy girlfriend.  You'll get there."

I am to turn in my goal sheet to my trainer tonight. At this point, my only goal is to rock every workout.  To not cheat myself by walking... but giving it all I got. At this point and time, maybe that's the best I can do... or is it?  See, the competitiveness in me rears her ugly head.

God willing, next year, I'll be closer to another goals such as doing an unassisted pull-up.  Yea, your arm hurts where the lymph nodes were removed... Yea, you gotta be careful but it's possible?  Slow and steady Paula... It's always been your mantra. If that doesn't work, remember what your madre used to say, "One day at a time."  

Those words will remind self to have patience, and to look at how far I've come. All in good measure.

MEASURE.... that's a very powerful word. What do you think?

Ever notice how when you move outside your comfort zone, you feel alive?

Hola, how's it going?

Can I just share that I am so sore that I can barely lift myself off the toilet? Wanna know why?  I joined a 5 week boot camp session that meets 3 days a week. It's all woman and all levels.

We are paired up with another woman and we do DRILLS.  When I saw some of the stuff that we would be doing, I immediately thought "damn, I'm too old for this, what am I thinking?"  Well, I have done two classes and I survived.

What an awesome feeling knowing you pushed the envelope.  I worked out with my daughter and I did not want to slow  her down so I pushed. I did luges, squats, sit ups, used a kettle bell, jumped and tonight, I think we're going to push a big ol tire.

I joined this 5 week boot camp hoping it will help me with losing the 10-15 pounds needed for my breast reconstruction surgery.  I started out at 190 and today, I weigh 178 lbs.  It's hard to eat at 1200-1300 calories.

As part of the boot camp commitment, I have given up sugar. Why is it when something is  prohibitive, you just want it more?

I hope I can share pictures with you all in the coming weeks. I'm so excited.  Ever notice how when you move outside your comfort zone, you feel alive?

Well, that's how I feel.

I'll be back soon. Hope you're having an awesome day. Gotta suit up for my 3rd session.

TTFN,
Paula

these pictures don't tell the whole story

Hi friends, how was your weekend? Mine was very good.  I spent the day hiking with my friend Pablo. We went up to Carson Pass near  Lake Tahoe and hiked up to Frogs Lake, then to Lake Winnemucca and then to Round top Lake and back. I would classify this as a "moderate" hike.  It was brutal coming down. We did a total of 6.5 miles and it's Tuesday, and I'm still feeling sore.

My buddy Pablo wants us to climb that mountain in the back?  Wouldn't that be something to work towards?

My friend took these pictures of me and all I see is HOW MY BODY HAS CHANGED SINCE CHEMO. Please do not get me wrong. I am extremely grateful to have beaten Cancer. Damn!  That was a hard word to type.   I don't always feel like I've "beaten" cancer because fear lurks in the back of your mind but I am certainly here and you don't even know how wonderful it was to be out doing something I love.  When I was recouping from surgery and doing chemo, all I wanted was to be hiking and be normal.  Today I was normal.

Looking at these pictures, I see the toll that treatment has taken on my body. I gained a total of 15 pounds and have 6 pounds to lose before hitting my previous weight of 174.

I am now carrying all this weight in my mid-section, back and arms.

My body is different.  I am determined to not let the  mean girl in me tear me to shreds. These pictures don't tell the whole story. I hiked 6.5 miles in moderately rugged terrain.  I pushed myself towards my former self.

I PUSHED MYSELF...and it was marvelous. 

Even though I'm over weight. Even though it was hard. Even though I am not where I want to be... I am certainly not on the couch where I was and I  praise the Lord for that...

Best,
Paula