H friends, how was your Thanksgiving? I found myself being overwhelmed with gratitude... So much has happened in one year. Today, I had my 4 month check up with a new oncologist. She says cancer generally returns within 1-2 years. This is something I knew but to have a doctor say it out loud just felt like a punch in the stomach. I don't want to hear that kind of news... We are doing routine blood work so it's good to be proactive, right? I believe strongly in the power of prayer. Please say a little one for me that all is well. Gracias.
Yesterday, the weather was gorgeous. Daniel and I decorated the tree in our front yard with lights. Well, actually, I sat on the bench watching him, listening to some latin music from the 60s, but I was there for what he needed.
I'm looking forward to decorating our tree but it will need to wait for the weekend. I'm back at work today and I have boot camp this evening. I think I'm seeing results. Not on the scale but definitely in the way my clothes fit. I've decided to put off reconstruction surgery indefinitely... or at least until I hit my 2 YEAR CANCER FREE MARK. When I went to the doctor, the scale said 184. Odd how my scale read 180. Whatevs. Not gonna let the scale or fear control me....
I found a mantra that is helping me... FEAR IS A LIAR. Yes. Fear can be such a dark place and I'm not going to go there. It's up to me to turn those thoughts around. Thoughts that this SHIT will come back... I'm in the Lord's hands and through him, anything is possible. I will be that 25% where it does not come back.
Sorry to come here and be so dark but PWC is my home... It's where I just need to be real with myself... You understand, right?
One day at a time.... that's advice from my mama. I'm here. God is good and it's up to me to make this day count so I'm going to go to boot camp tonight and give it my all. Then I'm gong to go home and spend a wonderful evening with Daniel. I'm so lucky to have him....
Yes, God is good and FEAR IS A LIAR.
One day at a time.
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