these pictures don't tell the whole story

Hi friends, how was your weekend? Mine was very good.  I spent the day hiking with my friend Pablo. We went up to Carson Pass near  Lake Tahoe and hiked up to Frogs Lake, then to Lake Winnemucca and then to Round top Lake and back. I would classify this as a "moderate" hike.  It was brutal coming down. We did a total of 6.5 miles and it's Tuesday, and I'm still feeling sore.

My buddy Pablo wants us to climb that mountain in the back?  Wouldn't that be something to work towards?

My friend took these pictures of me and all I see is HOW MY BODY HAS CHANGED SINCE CHEMO. Please do not get me wrong. I am extremely grateful to have beaten Cancer. Damn!  That was a hard word to type.   I don't always feel like I've "beaten" cancer because fear lurks in the back of your mind but I am certainly here and you don't even know how wonderful it was to be out doing something I love.  When I was recouping from surgery and doing chemo, all I wanted was to be hiking and be normal.  Today I was normal.

Looking at these pictures, I see the toll that treatment has taken on my body. I gained a total of 15 pounds and have 6 pounds to lose before hitting my previous weight of 174.

I am now carrying all this weight in my mid-section, back and arms.

My body is different.  I am determined to not let the  mean girl in me tear me to shreds. These pictures don't tell the whole story. I hiked 6.5 miles in moderately rugged terrain.  I pushed myself towards my former self.

I PUSHED MYSELF...and it was marvelous. 

Even though I'm over weight. Even though it was hard. Even though I am not where I want to be... I am certainly not on the couch where I was and I  praise the Lord for that...

Best,
Paula