Fear can be crippling, if you let it.

Hello friends, happy Monday. Can you believe Thanksgiving is just days away?  With that thought,  I felt the need to get out of the house and hit the grocery store.  Daniel is home so I would not need to drive.

It was a process to head out. Let me explain.

First, my drains were removed and I could shower. I was and am scared to see my body in it's new form. I cannot describe the overwhelming emotions that came over me after my appointment.  I found myself crying over the loss of my breast.  It felt almost primal but then.... I was so happy to have a fighting chance against breast cancer and so I told self" ENOUGH....

With that... I showered. Got dressed and wore a bulky sweater.  I felt so blessed with all the support I have received that I felt it was time to bless someone else. So I shopped for a Thanksgiving dinner for a loved one.

It felt good. Then, I sat with a friend who is having a rough time.  I listened and it felt good to be a blessing to someone else.

I am extremely fortunate. I give thanks to God that I am able to say that despite the challenge I am facing. All my fear and anxiety has been given to him.  Every time I have a negative thought or feeling, I remind self that if the thought is neither lovely, pure, truthful or honest that I should vanish it from my mind. It's helping. 

I am waiting for Oncology and chemo.  I am ready to HIT this thing full force. Life is sweet and I am going to enjoy all of it.... regardless of the challenges. I am happy for the visual pictures in my head i.e., climbing Mt. Tallac, climbing a 50 ft. water slide.  Fear can be crippling.  But if you face it. Head on, you feel like a Giant for having done so.  And so, this too I will face and overcome.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Let's embrace our children, family and friends.   Let's be present.  

This morning, my plan is to shower. Dress and get outside. The sun is shining and maybe I can walk a mile or two... Wish me luck.  Later, gators.  

paula